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OFFBEAT

Jesus lives: altar wine prevents goat sacrifice

Jesus may not have to die for his sins after all, as the owner of a goat who attacked a police officer last weekend pledges to sell him for a canister of altar wine rather than throwing him on the grill.

Jesus lives: altar wine prevents goat sacrifice
Vålerenga footballer Martin Pusic professes his love for another Jesus (Photo: Lise Åserud: Scanpix)

When Jesus chased a mother and child up a tree on Saturday evening before aiming a powerful butt at an officer of the law, the animal’s owner said he had little choice but to sacrifice the billy goat in the interests of public safety.

But when animal lovers pleaded for the barbecue to be called off, Tor Brede Launes decided instead to put Jesus up for sale on the popular buy-and-sell website finn.no, newspaper Fædrelandsvennen reports.

“I want a canister of altar wine for him. I deserve at least that for him,” the farmer told the paper, adding that he would also help catch the goat to hand him over to any prospective buyer.

With the sale generating lots of interest in Norway, Launes could find that he loses a goat but gains a girlfriend.

“One woman who called wanted me as part of the deal; she saw it as a personal ad. I found that quite charming, so I’m going to follow it up a bit. If I end up getting a farm lady into the bargain, I’d have to say I’m reasonably well satisfied with Jesus,” he told broadcaster NRK.

Regardless of the farmer’s fate, Jesus now looks most likely to wind up leaving his island home in the south for a field on the west coast, where a budding breeder has expressed an interest in taking on the bad boy of the Norwegian goat scene.

With Jesus setting off to bleat in pastures new, Launes may have already succeeded in his bid to replenish his flock with a gentler beast. And the biblical theme seems set to prevail on the island of Fugløya, after neighbouring farmer Viggo Olsen offered to gift Launes an African pygmy goat called Josef.

Olsen assured Launes that while Joseph likes to jump fences, he’s not a fighter, making him unlikely to get pepper-sprayed by the police. And with a goat named Maria already residing on the island, Josef’s dreams could be about to come true.

“I’m 99 percent certain I’ll replace Jesus with Josef. Lots of people want Jesus, and I think Joseph will thrive on the island,” Launes told NRK.

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OFFBEAT

Norwegian road authority in hot water for dumping rocks near UNESCO-listed fjord

The Norwegian Public Roads Administration will need to clear up more than 1,000 trucks worth of stones and rubble it left near the stunning UNESCO world heritage listed Nærøyfjord.

Norwegian road authority in hot water for dumping rocks near UNESCO-listed fjord
Nærøyfjorden near to where the Norwegian Public Roads Administration left behind more than 11,000 cubic metres of rocks. Photo by Arian Zwegers on Flickr.

Fly-tipping and rubbish dumping are typically associated with rogue tradespeople and cowboy builders, but it’s the Norwegian Public Roads Administration that is being asked to clear some 11,250 cubic metres of rocks it left near a UNESCO listed beauty spot.

The breathtaking Nærøyfjord in Aurland municipality, south-western Norway, is a landscape conservation area meaning its protected and, therefore, the rubble shouldn’t have been left there.

“This is a blister. We will clean up after ourselves,” Stig Berg Thomassen, project manager for the road authority, told NRK.

The rocks were left behind following a project to upgrade the nearby Gudvanga tunnel.

Thomassen said the mess was left in the conservation area because it wasn’t clearly marked as off-limits.

Nærøyfjorden has been listed as a landscape conservation area since 2002, and the site was added to the UNESCO world heritage list a few years later in 2005.

READ ALSO: You can now get married at this famous Norwegian beauty spot

The municipality in Aurland has given the road authority until December 17th to clear the mess. The mayor for the municipality said the road authority would begin to clear up the remnants of its building project as soon as possible.

The stones won’t be going far, though and will only be moved around 50 to 100 metres along the road to where the conservation area ends.

Project manager Thomassen has admitted that the situation could have been avoided with better planning.

“Yes, we should have probably have done that (prepared better). The situation is as it is, so we just have to clean up. It won’t take long to move the rocks. The Stones will only be transported 50 to 100 meters,” he confessed.

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