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Horny Jesus hits cop with massive butt

After Jesus chased a family up a tree and got pepper-sprayed by the police, a Norwegian farmer now feels he has little option but to chuck the offending goat on the barbecue.

Horny Jesus hits cop with massive butt
The goat in the picture is not Jesus (File photo: Emmanuel Wuyts)

Dramatic scenes unfolded on a small island off the south coast of Norway on Saturday evening when Jesus the billy goat got gruff with a mother and her child.

The terrified holidaymakers sought shelter in a tree while the father of the family called the police.

Arriving on the island in the Søgne region, officers quickly found that the horny 80-kilo creature was in no mood to be grilled by the law, news website fvn.no reports.  

“It charged straight at a constable, leading to what can only be described as a fight between the two. It was really angry,” police officer Børge Steinsland told fvn.no.

When Jesus refused to relent, the officers had little choice but to whip out the weapon nearest at hand, Steinsland said.

“They were quite simply forced to use pepper spray to drive the wild animal away.”

The animal’s owner, Tor Brede Launes, conceded that the attacks on police and civilians spelled the end for the five-year old goat.

“Clearly he can’t behave like this. He’ll probably be replaced by Midsummer,” he said, adding that Jesus was destined for the barbecue.

“Goat’s meat is delicious,” he told fvn.no.

But if he wants to eat Jesus, he’s going to have to find him first; the goat went underground after the police’s island raid at Fugløya.

Tor Brede Launes first tried whistling, before attempting to lure the goat with grain.  Then he took his boat out to scan the periphery of the island, but the beast with the biblical name remains at large.

“It does feel a bit unusual to take the boat around the islands calling out for Jesus,” he said.

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OFFBEAT

Norwegian road authority in hot water for dumping rocks near UNESCO-listed fjord

The Norwegian Public Roads Administration will need to clear up more than 1,000 trucks worth of stones and rubble it left near the stunning UNESCO world heritage listed Nærøyfjord.

Norwegian road authority in hot water for dumping rocks near UNESCO-listed fjord
Nærøyfjorden near to where the Norwegian Public Roads Administration left behind more than 11,000 cubic metres of rocks. Photo by Arian Zwegers on Flickr.

Fly-tipping and rubbish dumping are typically associated with rogue tradespeople and cowboy builders, but it’s the Norwegian Public Roads Administration that is being asked to clear some 11,250 cubic metres of rocks it left near a UNESCO listed beauty spot.

The breathtaking Nærøyfjord in Aurland municipality, south-western Norway, is a landscape conservation area meaning its protected and, therefore, the rubble shouldn’t have been left there.

“This is a blister. We will clean up after ourselves,” Stig Berg Thomassen, project manager for the road authority, told NRK.

The rocks were left behind following a project to upgrade the nearby Gudvanga tunnel.

Thomassen said the mess was left in the conservation area because it wasn’t clearly marked as off-limits.

Nærøyfjorden has been listed as a landscape conservation area since 2002, and the site was added to the UNESCO world heritage list a few years later in 2005.

READ ALSO: You can now get married at this famous Norwegian beauty spot

The municipality in Aurland has given the road authority until December 17th to clear the mess. The mayor for the municipality said the road authority would begin to clear up the remnants of its building project as soon as possible.

The stones won’t be going far, though and will only be moved around 50 to 100 metres along the road to where the conservation area ends.

Project manager Thomassen has admitted that the situation could have been avoided with better planning.

“Yes, we should have probably have done that (prepared better). The situation is as it is, so we just have to clean up. It won’t take long to move the rocks. The Stones will only be transported 50 to 100 meters,” he confessed.

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