• Norway edition
 

Petter Northug (a cappella)

Published: 02 Mar 2012 16:14 GMT+01:00
Updated: 02 Mar 2012 16:54 GMT+01:00

Read all about it and watch the video.

Kvartetten DEO - Petter Northug

Who’s strong, who’s fast, who’s hard as steel?

Who’s best and always crosses the line first?

Who gets to hear the crowd roar?

Our hero Petter Northug!

And he lives his life by a philosophy

Of taking to the track with a wolfish scowl

Only to reveal in the sprint that he’s really a swine

Our hero Petter Northug!

He’s as handsome as a Greek Adonis, oh yes

All the girls are captivated.

For daily use and formal attire, he always wears a Norwegian cardigan

Sewn from the skin of polar bears

And his manly body bears a scent of tar

Paint thinner, oil, hard liquor and rust.

When he sleeps in the mountains of Svalbard

His chest hair is coated with frost

And when mere mortals have retired and the hour is late

He’s out chopping wood, hunting elk and carrying rocks

(Lots of rocks).

He has style, he has grace, he has heroism

And his chin is the size of a country shed

He has liquor and petroleum in his blood

And he’s steady as a pine trunk.

When Statoil’s oil prognosis fell apart

Well, our ski king really lost his temper

Slammed his fist on the bottom of the Skagerrak strait

Causing the oil to flow once more.

 

(Wax, wax, re-wax, re-wax etc.)

 

As a baby, Petter was the real deal

Spitting out tobacco and clubbing seals

When he turned eight

He had a hairy thigh

Clad in fur like Shere Khan

Even in the spring of his youth:

Bearded like a Taliban

And it’s said that he once wrestled with God

And won the bout without breaking a sweat.

He makes generations of men go from being

Heteros to homosexuals

And with his two-day stubble he can polish

Even the rustiest of scrap vehicles.

When he heads out to hunt whales in his Viking ship

He uses a net

And he only eats chili, wasabi and meat

He doesn’t even cry during Bambi when the mother dies

(She dies).

With a washboard solid as sub-volcanic rock

And a stare that can cut through Plexiglas

And a voice of rumbling infra-bass

Our hero Petter Northug!

He’s the man who’s idolized everywhere

He’s loved by each Russian, Inuit, and Baltic dweller

The entire cosmos proclaims it thousandfold:

Our hero Petter Northug is

Powerful as an emperor of steel

(A man of cast iron and his…)

His victory cry, loud as a male lion’s roar

(He roars loudly and he…)

He is a god among gods and a man

Who can do everything

A true hero

A Don Juan

A king

He’s the one who’ll make you

Weak at the knees and give you butterflies in your stomach

Northug is super strong and utterly bizarre

(He can do kung fu and judo)

Not to mention the fact that he’s a whizz on guitar

(He strums the axe and his…)

His muscles are so flexed

What a guy (he’s everyone’s dad)

He’s got it all (got all the answers)

And the way he skis (he keeps nothing in reserve)

A ski Barbarian (a real man). Yes, he’s

Petter Northug, hero of heroes

Bloody Norwegian, this is your fanfare!

 

(Wax, wax, re-wax, re-wax etc.)

Translation: The Local

The Local (news@thelocal.no)

Don't miss...X
Left Right

Your comments about this article

Today's headlines
Israel appoints new Norway ambassador
Naim Araidi, Israel's former ambassador to Norway, is to be replaced. Photo: Stian Lysberg Solum / NTB scanpix

Israel appoints new Norway ambassador

Israel has chosen Raphael Schutz as new Norway ambassador to replace Naim Araidi, who was called home earlier this year amid controversy. READ  

Norway's Deila suffers Champions League woe
Ronny Deila's Celtic endured a humiliating defeat against Legia Warsaw. Photo: Leszek Szymañski / NTB scanpix

Norway's Deila suffers Champions League woe

Celtic lost 4-1 against Legia Warsaw in a nightmare Champion League result under Norwegian boss Ronny Deila on Wednesday. READ  

Circus camel escapes again
Ali the camel believes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Photo: Knut Jegersen / NTB scanpix.

Circus camel escapes again

For the second time in 24 hours, a camel has taken the hump and fled a travelling circus in Norway. On Wednesday Ali the camel was again seen by locals grazing on a public roadside in Stjørdal. READ  

'Still a specific attack threat': terror expert
Kjetil Stormark, journalist and terrorism expert. Photo: Erlend Aas / NTB scanpix

'Still a specific attack threat': terror expert

Norwegian police were right to call a national alert after they learnt a terror group from Syria had fake ID documents and were set to enter Norway, claims a terrorism expert on Wednesday. READ  

Norway continues to downgrade terror alert
Bjørvika, central Oslo: The security level of several ports was increased as the threat level went up. Photo: Heiko Junge / NTB scanpix

Norway continues to downgrade terror alert

Norway further returns to normal after the terror alert, as Norwegian ports relax their security levels at less exposed coastal facilities. READ  

Mother and son die in motorcycle crash tragedy
Mother and son hit a mobile caravan on E6 in Norway. Photo: Motorcycle helmet on a wet street

Mother and son die in motorcycle crash tragedy

A mother and her 16-year-old son died when the motorcycle they were riding hit a camper van in Gudbrandsdalen on Tuesday. READ  

Norwegian boy stung by scorpion on ferry
Eight-year-old survives potentially deadly insect bite. Photo: Scorpion crawling Shutterstock

Norwegian boy stung by scorpion on ferry

The scorpion caused havoc on a ferry trip between Denmark and Norway after the creature bit an eight-year-old boy and forced the vessel to head for emergency aid on Tuesday. READ  

Beach cleaners find polar bear stuck in net
Polar bear gets caught up in an Arctic cleaning project in Norway. Photo: Polar bear paw Shutterstock

Beach cleaners find polar bear stuck in net

A polar bear trapped in a net was one of the stranger discoveries found by volunteers in Northern Norway, working on a beach cleaning project this year. READ  

Camel goes walkabout on Norway roundabout
Police rescued an escaped circus camel in Trøndelag. Photo: Tor Aage Hansen / NTB scanpix

Camel goes walkabout on Norway roundabout

A circus camel had to be rescued after it escaped its owners and went for a walk around a Norwegian town on Tuesday. READ  

Government vows to cover costs of terror alert
Minister of Finance Siv Jensen will take care of the terror alert costs. Photo: Anette Karlsen / NTB scanpix

Government vows to cover costs of terror alert

The government will cover the additional costs incurred by the police and other organizations linked to the terror threat, said Norway's minister of finance. READ  

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
Society
Brit's charity tractor trek heads for Norway
Travel
Plans unveiled for bike trail along former Iron Curtain
National
Norway lifts Segway ban
Culture
GALLERY: Ten great songs about Norway
Society
Høie promises to reform sex change law
Education
Norway fjord invaded by monster jellyfish
Culture
VIDEO: Norwegian anti-Facebook film goes viral
Culture
Norway pop duo hits number 4 on US charts
Sport
Norway fan wins big on Suarez bite bet
National
Solberg 'most chatty' leader on Twitter
Culture
British Airways takes 'Slow TV' to the skies
International
Top Norway lawyers back Snowden Nobel
Society
Buy your own Viking warship for just €160,000
Politics
Norway PM beats Candy Crush level 300
Culture
Norway sticks with fårikål as national dish
International
Cold bathing craze leads to teen death
Society
Sweden threatens to 'annex' the ostehøvel
National
Baby squirrels survive cat attack
Society
Norway's 'cushy' prisons spurring foreign cons
National
Half Norwegians overweight: Gates study
International
VIDEO: Jagland doing press-ups in Donetsk
Business & Money
Striking Norway barbers: 'Let your hair grow'
Culture
Rihanna 'hard to please', Norway's Stargate reveal
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Germany

More news from Germany at thelocal.de

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Sweden

More news from Sweden at thelocal.se

343
jobs available