• Norway's news in English
 

Petter Northug (a cappella)

Published: 02 Mar 2012 16:14 GMT+01:00
Updated: 02 Mar 2012 16:54 GMT+01:00

Read all about it and watch the video.

Kvartetten DEO - Petter Northug

Who’s strong, who’s fast, who’s hard as steel?

Who’s best and always crosses the line first?

Who gets to hear the crowd roar?

Our hero Petter Northug!

And he lives his life by a philosophy

Of taking to the track with a wolfish scowl

Only to reveal in the sprint that he’s really a swine

Our hero Petter Northug!

He’s as handsome as a Greek Adonis, oh yes

All the girls are captivated.

For daily use and formal attire, he always wears a Norwegian cardigan

Sewn from the skin of polar bears

And his manly body bears a scent of tar

Paint thinner, oil, hard liquor and rust.

When he sleeps in the mountains of Svalbard

His chest hair is coated with frost

And when mere mortals have retired and the hour is late

He’s out chopping wood, hunting elk and carrying rocks

(Lots of rocks).

He has style, he has grace, he has heroism

And his chin is the size of a country shed

He has liquor and petroleum in his blood

And he’s steady as a pine trunk.

When Statoil’s oil prognosis fell apart

Well, our ski king really lost his temper

Slammed his fist on the bottom of the Skagerrak strait

Causing the oil to flow once more.

 

(Wax, wax, re-wax, re-wax etc.)

 

As a baby, Petter was the real deal

Spitting out tobacco and clubbing seals

When he turned eight

He had a hairy thigh

Clad in fur like Shere Khan

Even in the spring of his youth:

Bearded like a Taliban

And it’s said that he once wrestled with God

And won the bout without breaking a sweat.

He makes generations of men go from being

Heteros to homosexuals

And with his two-day stubble he can polish

Even the rustiest of scrap vehicles.

When he heads out to hunt whales in his Viking ship

He uses a net

And he only eats chili, wasabi and meat

He doesn’t even cry during Bambi when the mother dies

(She dies).

With a washboard solid as sub-volcanic rock

And a stare that can cut through Plexiglas

And a voice of rumbling infra-bass

Our hero Petter Northug!

He’s the man who’s idolized everywhere

He’s loved by each Russian, Inuit, and Baltic dweller

The entire cosmos proclaims it thousandfold:

Our hero Petter Northug is

Powerful as an emperor of steel

(A man of cast iron and his…)

His victory cry, loud as a male lion’s roar

(He roars loudly and he…)

He is a god among gods and a man

Who can do everything

A true hero

A Don Juan

A king

He’s the one who’ll make you

Weak at the knees and give you butterflies in your stomach

Northug is super strong and utterly bizarre

(He can do kung fu and judo)

Not to mention the fact that he’s a whizz on guitar

(He strums the axe and his…)

His muscles are so flexed

What a guy (he’s everyone’s dad)

He’s got it all (got all the answers)

And the way he skis (he keeps nothing in reserve)

A ski Barbarian (a real man). Yes, he’s

Petter Northug, hero of heroes

Bloody Norwegian, this is your fanfare!

 

(Wax, wax, re-wax, re-wax etc.)

Translation: The Local

The Local (news@thelocal.no)

Your comments about this article

Today's headlines

Ice climber falls to death in Norway

An ice climber of foreign nationality has died of his injuries after he fell between 30 and 40 metres while trying to scale a waterfall in southern Norway. Rescue workers desperately tried to reach the man, who got stuck on a ledge, but were unable to get to him in time. READ  

Muslims form 'ring of peace' at synagogue
Young Muslims link hands around the Oslo Synagogue on Saturday night Håkon Mosvold Larsen/NTB scanpix

Muslims form 'ring of peace' at synagogue

Norwegian Muslims organised a peace vigil in Oslo on Saturday in a show of solidarity with Jews a week after fatal shootings in Denmark targeted a synagogue and free speech seminar. READ  

 Glacier ice: The world’s new luxury ice cube?
An image of the Svartisen glacier taken from Svaice's website. Photo: Svaice

Glacier ice: The world’s new luxury ice cube?

Imagine you’re lounging in a Dubai sky bar and you get served a vodka martini filtered through thousand-year-old ice mined from a glacier in the far north of Norway. This is the idea behind Norwegian start-up Svaice. READ  

Dutch cons fear losing cushy cells to Norway
Norgerhaven Veenhuizen prison in The Netherlands. Photo: Dutch Ministry of Justice

Dutch cons fear losing cushy cells to Norway

Dutch prisoners have gone to court to block a ground-breaking plan to rent out spaces in their jail for criminals from Norway, where the prison service faces a serious capacity shortage. READ  

Norwegian's Filipina wife charged with murder
An autopsy room. Photo: Shutterstock.

Norwegian's Filipina wife charged with murder

The Filipina wife of a Norwegian man found dead in his bedroom last summer has been charged by police for pre-meditated murder after an autopsy report revealed signs of carbon monoxide poisoning. READ  

'Are you crazy? Why should I blow myself up?'
The woman's face on TV2 yesterday: Screen grab from TV2

'Are you crazy? Why should I blow myself up?'

The 19-year-old Oslo woman hunted by international police on suspicion of planning a suicide attack has vigorously denied any such plans, telling Norway’s TV2 that she had been planning to come back to Norway. READ  

Video
Northug takes gold in stunning comeback
Petter Northug in tears on the pedastal in Falun. Photo: Vegard Wivestad Grøtt/NTB Scanpix

Northug takes gold in stunning comeback

Norwegian skiing legend Petter Northug has pulled off one of the great comebacks in sporting history, taking gold in the cross-country sprint at the Nordic skiing world championships on Thursday. READ  

Norway prison to send imam to Muslim inmates
A winter scene at Ringerike Prison: Photo: Ringerike Prison

Norway prison to send imam to Muslim inmates

A Norwegian prison is to bring in a local imam to prevent Muslim inmates becoming radicalised in the same way as the young Dane who carried out brutal twin attacks in Copenhagen over the weekend. READ  

Norway hunts suspected suicide bomber
A class taking place at an ISIS bootcamp in Syria, such as the woman is supposed to have attended. Photo: YouTube screengrab/Karl-Ludwig Poggemann/Flickr

Norway hunts suspected suicide bomber

Norway’s intelligence services have put out an international alert warning about a female Norwegian Islamic militant suspected of planning a suicide attack in Europe. READ  

Bad-boy artist Melgaard's Munch pairing 'unworthy'
Photo: Cornelius Poppe / NTB scanpix

Bad-boy artist Melgaard's Munch pairing 'unworthy'

An exhibition showing an image of a painting by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch with a penis cut and pasted onto it has been condemned by one of the artist's descendants as “unworthy” and “undignified”. READ  

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
National
As it happened: Denmark rocked by terror attack
National
King Harald visits Antarctic namesake
Culture
Norwegians streak the streets of Berlin
Culture
Norway couple find love on word game app
International
What's keeping UK expats from voting?
Business & Money
FATCA: 'The age of financial privacy is over'
International
Norwegian chef wins world's top food prize
Sport
Real Madrid sign Norway prodigy Ødegaard
Politics
Solberg: The fight for freedom isn't won
National
Gaza doc named Norway's person of year
National
Norway extends Russian military freeze
National
Why has The Local got a new logo?
National
Kjell Inge Røkke tops Norway's Rich List
International
Surprise! Norway priciest for home comforts
National
Norway terror attacks to become TV drama
International
Malala: Youngest ever Nobel Peace Laureate
National
Norway celebrates 25 years of Sami politics
Business & Money
CurrencyFair: Why it pays when making overseas transfers
International
Norway best country for older people
National
Muslim centre wanted on site of Munch Museum
International
Norway to send military staff in fight against IS
National
Father warns Breivik 'more extreme than ever'
National
Four-year-old Norway girl sleepwalks 4km
Travel
Cruise line offers Northern Lights promise
National
10-tonne shark found dead off Norway coast
International
'If Snowden wins Nobel Prize, arrest him!': MP
Culture
VIDEO: Swim ace does 'Pool Rubik's Challenge'
National
Norwegian man in 7,000 litre 'Ice Truck Challenge'
Society
Norwegian brewery pulls 'fart-smelling' beer
Sport
Ødegaard: Norway's youngest player ever
National
Miracle cat survives 20 gunshots in Norway
National
Second death within hours at Chess Olympics
National
Norway and Sweden mark 200 years of peace
Culture
Interview: Helene Meldahl, selfie artist
Society
Now serving ... Norway's smallest bar
Travel
Floating Northern Lights hotel planned in Norway
National
Circus camel escapes again
National
Swiss bus driver charged with careless driving in fatal Norway crash
Society
Brit's charity tractor trek heads for Norway
National
Norway lifts Segway ban
Culture
GALLERY: Ten great songs about Norway
Society
Høie promises to reform sex change law
Education
Norway fjord invaded by monster jellyfish
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Germany

More news from Germany at thelocal.de

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Sweden

More news from Sweden at thelocal.se

262
jobs available