• Norway's news in English
 
app_header_v3

Petter Northug (a cappella)

The Local · 2 Mar 2012, 16:54

Published: 02 Mar 2012 16:14 GMT+01:00
Updated: 02 Mar 2012 16:54 GMT+01:00

Read all about it and watch the video.

Kvartetten DEO - Petter Northug

Who’s strong, who’s fast, who’s hard as steel?

Who’s best and always crosses the line first?

Who gets to hear the crowd roar?

Our hero Petter Northug!

And he lives his life by a philosophy

Of taking to the track with a wolfish scowl

Only to reveal in the sprint that he’s really a swine

Our hero Petter Northug!

He’s as handsome as a Greek Adonis, oh yes

All the girls are captivated.

For daily use and formal attire, he always wears a Norwegian cardigan

Sewn from the skin of polar bears

And his manly body bears a scent of tar

Paint thinner, oil, hard liquor and rust.

When he sleeps in the mountains of Svalbard

His chest hair is coated with frost

And when mere mortals have retired and the hour is late

He’s out chopping wood, hunting elk and carrying rocks

(Lots of rocks).

He has style, he has grace, he has heroism

And his chin is the size of a country shed

He has liquor and petroleum in his blood

And he’s steady as a pine trunk.

When Statoil’s oil prognosis fell apart

Well, our ski king really lost his temper

Slammed his fist on the bottom of the Skagerrak strait

Causing the oil to flow once more.

 

(Wax, wax, re-wax, re-wax etc.)

 

As a baby, Petter was the real deal

Spitting out tobacco and clubbing seals

When he turned eight

He had a hairy thigh

Clad in fur like Shere Khan

Even in the spring of his youth:

Bearded like a Taliban

And it’s said that he once wrestled with God

And won the bout without breaking a sweat.

He makes generations of men go from being

Heteros to homosexuals

And with his two-day stubble he can polish

Even the rustiest of scrap vehicles.

When he heads out to hunt whales in his Viking ship

He uses a net

And he only eats chili, wasabi and meat

He doesn’t even cry during Bambi when the mother dies

(She dies).

With a washboard solid as sub-volcanic rock

And a stare that can cut through Plexiglas

And a voice of rumbling infra-bass

Our hero Petter Northug!

He’s the man who’s idolized everywhere

He’s loved by each Russian, Inuit, and Baltic dweller

The entire cosmos proclaims it thousandfold:

Our hero Petter Northug is

Powerful as an emperor of steel

(A man of cast iron and his…)

His victory cry, loud as a male lion’s roar

(He roars loudly and he…)

Story continues below…

He is a god among gods and a man

Who can do everything

A true hero

A Don Juan

A king

He’s the one who’ll make you

Weak at the knees and give you butterflies in your stomach

Northug is super strong and utterly bizarre

(He can do kung fu and judo)

Not to mention the fact that he’s a whizz on guitar

(He strums the axe and his…)

His muscles are so flexed

What a guy (he’s everyone’s dad)

He’s got it all (got all the answers)

And the way he skis (he keeps nothing in reserve)

A ski Barbarian (a real man). Yes, he’s

Petter Northug, hero of heroes

Bloody Norwegian, this is your fanfare!

 

(Wax, wax, re-wax, re-wax etc.)

Translation: The Local

Your comments about this article

Today's headlines
Chinese fund offers $1.2b for Norway's Opera web company
Photo: Opera

Chinese fund offers $1.2b for Norway's Opera web company
6 minutes ago

The world's fifth most used web browser may soon be in Chinese hands.

How to vote as an American expat in Norway
Even if you won't be anywhere near this ballot box in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire – or anywhere else in the US – you can still take help decide the next US president. Photo: Mike Segar/Scanpix

How to vote as an American expat in Norway
13 hours ago

As The US presidential voting season is well underway with the first primary elections in New Hampshire, The Local looks at how American citizens can cast their ballots from outside the US.

'Aggressive elk' no match for Norway kids with snowballs
Photo: Paul Kleiven / NTB scanpix

'Aggressive elk' no match for Norway kids with snowballs
15 hours ago

It takes more than an angry elk to scare Norwegian nursery children.

Norway 'lost' 661 asylum seekers in January alone
UDI said many of the 'lost' asylum seekers will likely "show up in some way or another". Photo: Torstein Bøe / NTB scanpix

Norway 'lost' 661 asylum seekers in January alone
20 hours ago

The number of asylum seekers who 'disappeared' within Norway in January was higher than any single month last year.

Tourist brought 125 kilos of Norwegian coins to Oslo
The coins totaled 220,970 kroner and weighed 125 kilos. Photo: Toll

Tourist brought 125 kilos of Norwegian coins to Oslo
22 hours ago

A most unusual find for Oslo customs officials.

Norway’s climate quotas have not led to emissions cuts
Photo: Håkon Mosvold Larsen/NTB Scanpix

Norway’s climate quotas have not led to emissions cuts
1 day ago

Five years after fulling joining the EU quota system, there have been no real reductions in Norway's emissions.

'Mystery films’ from 1980 to be shown in Norway
The 1980 delivery went unclaimed. Photo: Kjell-Erik Ruud/Instagram

'Mystery films’ from 1980 to be shown in Norway
1 day ago

An American man sent three films to himself at a Norwegian hotel 36 years ago but never claimed the package. On Tuesday, the mysterious films will be shown, although no one knows what to expect.

Sexual criminals prey on Norway’s asylum centres
Kripos said that known sex offenders are carrying out attacks at Norway's asylum centres. Photo: Torstein Bøe / NTB scanpix

Sexual criminals prey on Norway’s asylum centres
1 day ago

Known sex offenders are taking advantage of "especially vulnerable" underage asylum seekers.

Norwegian who raped Irish woman in sleep faces appeal
The Criminal Courts of Justice in Dublin, Ireland. Photo: Criminal Courts of Justice

Norwegian who raped Irish woman in sleep faces appeal
February 05, 2016

Irish prosecutors are hoping to overturn the suspended jail sentence of a Norwegian man who admitted to raping his Irish girlfriend up to ten times while she slept.

Elderly Norwegians arrested in Thailand for playing bridge
Photo: Colourbox

Elderly Norwegians arrested in Thailand for playing bridge
February 05, 2016

A game of bridge had an unexpected ending for 32 club members in Pattaya, including three Norwegian pensioners.

Sponsored Article
US taxes and FATCA: 'The time for hiding is over'
National
Norway police to go back to being unarmed
Health
Norway ads use Hitler teddy bear to scare parents... about dust
National
Migrants: Norway 'sending us to death' in Russia
Norway under fire over tough new asylum plans
Health
Norway doctors push plan for 'tobacco-free generation'
National
Norway's call to remove crosses causes backlash
Politics
Norway tightens asylum policy to cut numbers
Society
The end of the expat? European cities fight for innovative 'inpats'
Education
Hiker finds 1,200-yr-old Viking sword in Norway
National
Oslo eyes ban on private cars from city centre in green push
Culture
Family shocked as The Scream appears in a freshly sawn plank
National
AS-IT-HAPPENED: Nobel Peace Prize announcement 2015
National
Norway armed forces to get organic underwear
International
Syrians cross Norway's Arctic border on bicycles
Society
Norwegians reveal the (hilariously inaccurate) origins of the Danish language
National
Norway man built secret child's room in cellar
Education
Norway starts school for Vikings
Sport
Sepp Blatter should win Nobel Peace Prize: Putin
2,210
jobs available